he who used to rule the world!

Thu, 26 May 2011 06:37:26 GMT

Of course perhaps you might be one of the skeptics, filled with doubt and skepticism in this unholy and godless modern day, so if you were wondering how in fact this splendid rename of an already most intelligent namesake has come to be, let me tell you for my word is glorious! IT ONLY COST 5 AMERICAN DOLLARS OUT OF THE POCKET OF ONE RONNIE VANNUCCI JR WHOSE GAMBLING DEBTS HAVE APPARENTLY NOT COMPLETELY BANKRUPTED THE SOUL OF HIS GENEROSITY! ALLE-ALLELUIA!

This is an entry about ricky martin!

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 14:43:25 GMT

Console me in the darkest hour...with coldplay songs, why of course! Killers are always only a lot of trouble. Coldplay you see, we write these terribly tragic songs that bring about stanza after stanza of meaningful rubbish that is only rubbish out of context. Sort of a bit quite rather like this post! Possibly me too! Oh is not a good time to be joking around with the lot of these exclamation marks is it?!

Old habits die hard. Long live the dream. Long live Ari.

He said, I'm gonna buy this place and burn it down
I'm gonna put it six feet underground
Said I'm gonna buy this place and watch it fall
Stand here beside me, baby, in the crumbling walls

Oh I'm gonna buy this place and start a fire
Stand here until I fill all your heart's desires
Because I'm gonna buy this place and see it burn
And do back the things they did to you in return

He said, I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
Oh I'm gonna buy this place is what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head

And honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I've made
See it all disappear without trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They said start as you mean to go on
Start as you mean to go on

He said I'm gonna buy this place and see it go
Stand here beside me, baby, watch the orange glow
Some will laugh and some just sit and cry
But you just sit down there and you wonder why

So I'm gonna buy a gun and start a war
If you can tell me something worth fighting for
And I'm gonna buy this place is what I said
Blame it upon a rush of blood to the head
Ah to the head, oh

And honey
All the movements you're starting to make
See me crumble and fall on my face
And I know the mistakes that I made
See it all disappear without trace
And they call as they beckon you on
They say start as you mean to go on

As you mean to go on, as you need to go on

So meet me by the bridge, meet me by the lane
When am I gonna see that pretty face again?
Meet me on the road, meet me where I said
Blame it all upon a rush of blood to the head

This is a serious entry about troubles!

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 21:31:38 GMT

Lots of beautiful entries on the page so although it is time for your monthly dose of nonsense 7 1/2 minutes with chris martin, i feel i probably should sit down myself and give you all a bit of the chris martin you expect. this is the stuff of coldplay records everybody, advance copy of our next you could even call it so pay proper attention! OK is a bit more like an ep, condensed so if you just only add a bit of your own water to it you can have a bowl of soup. Add a sprinkle of croutons and is very nearly quite like a full meal although i dunno if there is a drop of nutritional value but if i carry on that thought this post is going to become nonsense again so OK i'm to get a bit serious now!

I have been inspired.

Oh goodness, that cannot be it for my serious entry. Think think think think, little mind of mine, there has got to be more to come from that. What has inspired you? What is the inspiration to do? Where will that inspiration go to? That is three questions at least you could answer to bulk up your moment of seriousness! You can't be all fun and candid rubbish 24/7. Where do your songs even come from? 1, many things have inspired me. 2, i dunno. 3, quite likely no-where at all. 4, they come from places not polite to talk about in front of strangers and even friends, a deathly quiet spot that is also full of rumpus, pitiful whines asking for attention for the moaning so plentiful you cannot make out a word, not one!

Is that all you have got, chris martin? 5, i dunno, is it?
You cannot ask the question a question! 6, why not if you're not a question anymore? Aha!
Don't get clever with me, chris. 7, you are very possibly the only one who calls me that not counting my gwyneth. Am i in some sort of trouble?

OK ok i am going to be serious starting now. Is just that i cannot talk about what i want to talk about in front of so many reading eyes. Sort of a bit like stage fright and i haven't got anything prepared or rehearsed. I could talk about the tour but a picture supposedly speaks a thousand words and i am too lazy to find us some pictures. I could tell you about my lovely missus but i would have to get divorced. I'm in a bit of a fix no? OK so i will tell you lot a joke.

chris martin tried to be serious for this entry.

This is an entry about cocks!

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 12:23:53 GMT

OK PLEASE READ THIS becos i am going to tell everybody a fantastic little story before i link to you all some videos! Is a story about me and the wonderful irish geezer BONO who called me a list of lovely names earlier on this year on live national radio (wanker, dysfunctional character, cretin, genius melodist, a great soul, and there were lots and lots more in his head but radio microphones cannot catch that sort of thing cos of the very thick accent his thoughts speak with yknow!) You see i am friends with bono so the names were a bit unexpected truly. I always thought he was joking when he called me those to my face! All of which is totally true so you know, and it is precisely becos of that that i could not, i just could not believe he did such a low thing! Why would he do that? i kept asking myself over and over. You're supposed to tell lies to the radio and the telly! Lie to everybody you can becos you cannot ever know when they are informants to the nazi media! Which is not the point of the story however. The point is i was a bit offended at his truth telling and the obvious upon obvious breach of clear rock star rules! It was a betrayal to all the rock star oaths that rock stars are sworn to just before they get nominated for such things as brit awards and grammys! Even the smaller things like mtv and nme awards too! I will tell the truth only just to you lot who i am expecting to be reading this, becos i have to trust none of you are agents for corporate networks, and the truth is that i wanted him banished from every single one of the rock star clubs and a jury of his finer peers to all together spit on a bonfire of his greatest hits records in a beautiful big fiery saliva bukkake circle! Of course i never ever ever get what i want so i had to do the next best thing which is make terrible jokes about him in private and play u2 songs at the start of as many coldplay gigs around the world as i could, australia to singapore, spread my respect and love for the glorious bastard sort of in a reverse fiery bukkake sort of way.

God i am a louse of a storyteller! Is actually becos bukkake is really a difficult word to rhyme and is not the sort of word you can use twice in a lyric to rhyme with itself, yknow what i mean? I am more capable with rhyming colour names and words like you, do, for, pond, hill, that sort of thing. For example it was just only two days ago when i was stuck on this line for a song, "are we content or just complacent?" Then i thought, Good god are there any words at all that rhyme with complacent?! I am now thinking of having the thing i thought be the actual next line of the lyric, becos after two days that is when you must realise that you have to give up or songs would never get finished!

OK i have put you through enough testing of your patience. I will let you go on to the videos! This is razorlight and the first video has got a gossip girl lookalike in it becos everything that brandon flowers has, jbo wants to have too. The second one is where jbo looks terrifically handsome with his latest haircut and if you will only be courteous to me and watch one, this is the one you ought watch. (It does not seem like it but the first story i told and me promoting razorlight has something to do with each other. I really hope too that everybody read this in an accent becos that is the only way that i am a bit cute.)

This is an entry that is very extra special!

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:08:49 GMT

It is no secret to the world on the outside of this playground that i have taken to your songs in exquisite ways, in respect and some sort of solidarity. We are rivalling siblings but more than i can say for myself, you were not lucky, you were not at the right place at the right time, you were not an accident or something to fall out of the sky by chance. You are very much quite the opposite. You didn't fit in, you didn't compromise, you went after the bull straight at the horns and brandon, i love you for it.

What fewer people know is the secrets we keep to this place, our talks when we feel nobody is bothered to listen, our embraces when it has been too long, all of our medleys that get their melody from just the way your mind ticks and oh that giggle of yours! We are fish in a little bowl, i feel the electric of your current of your every move. It touches me, placates me, is there when i am most alone. And in the end we lie awake and we dream of making our escape, and in the end we lie awake and we dream of making our escape.

I dunno how many here have been affected by you, i dunno if they notice your effects. What i know is the friends who would follow you to any place to the ends of the world, leave imitations of you from other parallel universes only just to stand witness, no need to be that close but seems always like close enough. I know the friends who won't ever ask more from you, the friends who won't say it, the friends who will ramble, the new friends who have fallen into your deadly trap!

Nothing about you is without effort except for your handsomeness and oh do you put that into our faces so often. I have met nobody like you, nobody so simple but complex, so bold and so shy, so funny but so utterly understated. Rumour tells me you have quite a bit of a temper and someday i should hope you will break open one of my suffocating windows, trust me to bandage your fist, but is more than enough that i am only just included always in a joke about soulmates.

Brandon flowers, you are a poem not a lyric, you are a song i could not dare to sing. When you are near i watch stars explode and i save all the sparks for when you are far. I think about you when i cleanse my chakras. That is only just a joke! This whole thing is putting me into a mood!

Happy birthday, my dear dear friend, and happy father's day to us two! You can also thank me for bringing you this message from dave gahan sort of.

Love and sincere fondness,
Yours always,
Or at least for a good long time,
"Chris Martin" (Is just a way that you say it, makes me laugh!)

Brandon flowers! Will you marry me?

This is an entry about absolutely nothing at all!

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:07:33 GMT

Do you want to know what is absolutely fantastic? Cos this is my journal and i will tell you what i think whether or not you really care and i happen to find sakura jelly ink pens absolutely fantastic when they come in electric orange. I want to scan something so you can see for yourselves but coldplay does not tour with a scanner and even though i am not precisely on tour right now i could just be a very lazy prick. Pity really cos it really is quite fantastic. I can't draw on my arms with it and not my shoes either but on regular paper! Goodness! The japanese make splendid things. Which begins my thoughts on invention. Not all of it springs from need or necessity. On occasion, we only just want something totally frivolous, nonsensical some would argue, like bobbleheads and ribbons, the frills that add a little something something to our dry and dreary lives. A touch of pizazz, a burst of colour! Granted i have moved on from talking (thinking?) about invention and i am now on a path of discovery becos a wandering mind could wonder its way to splendiferous matters like sakura jelly ink pens in electric orange and with a bit of luck, back to the point of origin. Invention...but the mind stops there and tells me the topic is a bit dry. The printing press has replaced quills and the laborious hands of monks, we have everything we could imagine wanting, save time machines and teleportation pods and pills to have me stop talking a lot of nonsense. Could be that if i had those pills i would not need time machines and teleportation pods, but there's a thought! An incomplete one but a thought no less!

I really am in the mood to be prattling away about nothing so i dunno why anybody would have bothered to read as far as this unless they were a fan who would be frank enough to admit it and introduce themselves. As it has been made painfully apparent to me i am not very much good at being particularly social. Even with my friends i pop up out of the deep dark or bright summer sky blue when the lack of novelty in my life strikes with a parental spank on the arse and says to me: chris martin, stop being an utter loon or sad bastard, stop filling your teapot with more tears than tea and bloody send an instant message to a friend or a stranger! You can even spend a lot of your rubbish time to make vain, foolish, public attempts to convince dave gahan that he is needed by the likes of certain mormon darlings who dare not yet confront the most obvious of their repressed sexualities. Becos really, if said certain person does not realise the possibility that men may love men as they do women, how will he ever be able to come to terms with his immense and utter non-platonic secret love affair in his mind and heart and soul for chris martin who is none other than you yourself? Chris martin, good god why are you talking to yourself under the guise of writing an update?! And really you must stop teasing the poor child becos he is not english and he knows not the gentle docile affection that comes with us poufs calling each other poufs!

Glad to have got that out of my system. Brandon flowers i love you ever so. No i suppose it's not really out of my system yet, give it a minute or two, shake it a few times, see if any more of it will come trickling out...brandon flowers i will have your babies and even redirect all my current funding towards the research for my magic stop talking nonsense pill, to something much more beneficial to society in general. Would we not enjoy living in a world where men could bear babies? A lot of the excuses us men make up to question our genuine roles in the lives of our offspring would go floating out the window and...OK maybe the pill should come first after all.

What else can i ramble about here? Oh yes i had a full cyberspace conversation with an utter and total stranger this morning! I am quite proud of it so i will share. I am sorry to any and all parties to whom this might be incriminating but i really do need to fill up some space here! I dunno if that is a worthwhile excuse or if i have been chatting with the very mischievous ronnie too long and am very much ready to unleash the minions of hell onto the unsuspecting race of human beings, but here it is anyway!

I have had to paraphrase some bits to protect a surprise birthday party plan and i have done that in double parentheses! I am being totally resourseful today!

longliveCmartian: longliveCmartian: Is there any rule that exists that would not permit me to talk to Gossip Girl?
changeronstripes: your gonna have to take that up with Brandoboy, she's his pet and they both ain't mine

longliveCmartian: longliveCmartian: Is he here and in hiding, that scoundrel. I really hate it when he does that. It makes me feel terribly unappreciated and it really is quite like he appreciates you more than he appreciates i and ohhhh the solemn solitude.
longliveCmartian: I like that, solemn solitude. Think it fits into a song?

longliveCmartian: changeronstripes: stop bein a crackhead I've got one all ready and no he's not on to my knowledge thats failed before so rely on somethin else. Try his fo.
changeronstripes: LMAO
longliveCmartian: A single instant message could not hurt too badly?

longliveCmartian: changeronstripes: I have ((something to do))~
longliveCmartian: OH that's right, OK ok I will bother her.

see you leighter: oh my god!!
see you leighter: what have you heard?? i promise i'm really nice!

longliveCmartian: So far i have sent a total of five messages.

see you leighter: so far they don't hurt too badly, maybe a little tingly if anything!

longliveCmartian: Yes that is the feeling i seem to be having! I am hardly ever ever ever signed on to this one so it is quite an honour for me to be talking to somebody other than my usual lot. Hullo and how do you do!
longliveCmartian: I am chris martin and for reasons that i assume are all very good mostly the friends i have here refer to me by that full name. You can call me anything you want really becos i am rather fond of calling you gossip girl in my mind and it seems to have stuck on quite very well. Hullo again! For the second time becos sometimes those are lovely.

see you leighter: i do feel very honored and maybe a little bit shy so i apologize in advance if i am unentertaining and kind of stutter and say a lot of dumb things! i am doing very well, how are you? and hi, it's nice to meet you!
see you leighter: omg you are already going to be too cute for me to handle, that equals a lot of flailing! you can call me anything you like, i like gossip girl and i think it is cute that you say it, but i'm leighton sometimes too if you want

longliveCmartian: Ha ha ha! No no no not at all, you have been friends with brandon enough i assume to know that i am a lover of stutterers. It adds on quite a unique little whistle to the ever so boring yknow what i mean? You have to excuse me for being a bit sort of hyper becos that is the only time when i dare to come onto the net. I am a bit fearful of it but when i am hyper then i am able to forget all about all of it and be sort of like me but not quite either. It really is a terribly long explanation and i dunno really why i thought to explain it to somebody who is rather obviously magical. I am splendid, very excited for a good friend's birthday. It's father's day too and i dunno how many times that will happen for him in his lifetime becos i am not the best at mathematics but for a father whose birthday falls in march and closer to...well holidays that i am sure exist although i cannot think of them now...Am i rambling onto goodnes knows what?

see you leighter: you really are but it is really WONDERFUL so you can ramble all you want! i wasn't sure ((of anything in my life)) you know so you guys just made it easier for me and i think he is just going to love ((it)). you guys are his favorite people ever ever and being ((so loved)) omg i can only imagine, i bet he is going to giggle and stutter for a whole day, it's going to be so CUTE.

longliveCmartian: I am going to take a very big deep breath becos breathing is often encouraged for people to live without hyperventilation being the way of death. I may have to read you again becos have you have ever experienced it when you are oh too hyper and everything happens to be whizzing about like flying moths in your mind and they are a little bit electrocuted but not quite dead yet?
longliveCmartian: That is a bit morbid, i apologise.
longliveCmartian: HA AHAHA oh heavens yes, he will very nearly be cuter than we thought possible when he receives the love we will drop all onto his head, little miracles to say thank you brandon flowers for being splendidly part of our lives becos, and you mustn't tell anybody this but often times i think to myself that he may be the sole reason i live! That is not that true but it does sound nice enough to ((someday share))!
longliveCmartian: I suppose that would only just reveal the secret that i have just said to keep between us to everybody but it is a special occasion so i think i will allow it. You must, must must show me ((that absolutely fantastic thing you know how to do)). There was a brandon that i thought was brandon but wasn't really brandon, in a different universe so-called and he knew how to do it too and i was quite envious.
longliveCmartian: Hullo for the third time becos those are rather lovely too!

see you leighter: HELLO! here i will share my ((great knowledge)) with you so we can ((love)) at him okay the way he is so adorably adorable and ((loves)) at all of us.
see you leighter: ((very secret html link)) TA DA this is the coolest thing ever
see you leighter: now you can be the ((amazing)) talk of the town!

longliveCmartian: I may just never be able to ((do that)) the regualar way again!
longliveCmartian: I have to test it somewhere he will least expect it, possible that you have any good suggestions like ((somewhere he will least expect it))?

see you leighter: that is perfectly okay! seriously i love the ((amazing love)) okay so if you want to use it constantly it would be so pleasing to ((my heart))
see you leighter: oh yes you may!!
see you leighter: please ((my heart))!

longliveCmartian: It is done and oh you must stop me now from ((doing something quite silly)) becos then ((he will be smart)) and the surprise will be ruined!

see you leighter: OMG THAT IS SO CUTE AND PERFECT

longliveCmartian: I got a bit carried away, i'm sorry but they really are quite enjoyable!

see you leighter: that is really perfectly okay, they are all so fun and beautiful! i told you they are so wonderful

longliveCmartian: We will ((love)) him together and i willl ((be smart)) to avoid our ((love)) clashing too badly or being repeated becos we both have the same fantastic taste!
longliveCmartian: Although you may be the one who will have to check since it becomes the ((special surprise day)) a little earlier here in london although that could be where i am not, i will have to go to a fansite and check on my schedule soon. Is a difficult life to be a rock star.

see you leighter: i can only imagine (and i do every night...)
see you leighter: it's not that hard doing what i do, you know, i just go to parties wearing crazy dresses
see you leighter: we can switch if you like!

longliveCmartian: I would love it but gwyneth tells me it is the wearing dresses bit that becomes a bit of a pain in the neck.
longliveCmartian: What do you think of licorice?

see you leighter: i like twizzlers but the black jelly beans are too strong for me i think.
see you leighter: the dresses are fun and the shoes are beautiful but you know sometimes you just wanna be a rock star.

longliveCmartian: I have got a ceramic jar of them from marks and spencer, i dunno if you lot have that in america but it is quite a fancy shop that sells all sorts of...everything. They have the old fashion licorice, the sort you read about in Roald Dahl books y'know? And they are a little bit dreadful although if you come across an article or interview that says i fancy them one of us chris martins is lying and i shan't say which.
longliveCmartian: Sometimes yes but sometimes i want to be a rocketship. What would you be if you could be any man, woman, animal or thing?

see you leighter: maybe it is just like liking the idea of something. like coffee. i love the smell of coffee but the taste not that much you see, but i like the idea of taking in that perfect scent, you know what i mean?

longliveCmartian: I understand you perfectly!

see you leighter: iiiii want to be a mermaid
see you leighter: they are beautiful and sexy

longliveCmartian: Would you be able to turn into a human being on certain nights of a month? Like on a full moon perhaps?

see you leighter: i like the idea of that! being able to go and come as i please, maybe just when i dry off my legs they stop being a tail but being able to do it whenever i feel like it
see you leighter: i think living in the ocean would be kind of neat
see you leighter: sort of like if you're a rocketship and chilling out in outer space, it would just be kind of neat

longliveCmartian: I hope there are no eels in outer space though cos just when you were talking about living in the ocean i recalled this snippet of something that i saw the discovery channel about eels and they are a little unpleasant.
longliveCmartian: I suppose if you were a mermaid however they would be your friends of a sort?
longliveCmartian: Unless you were ariel and then they would be the wicked witch's and definitely not your friends. Did you know that prince eric is brandon's favourite disney prince?

see you leighter: maybe if i was a mermaid i would catch eels and then have beach parties and cook them and serve them up to all my merpeople buddies, hmmmm. eels always bring the party~
see you leighter: i think he told me that once! i know we talked about it sometime.
see you leighter: do you know why?

longliveCmartian: Is becos eric is the most handsome i would assume but i let my imagination get ahead of common sense a lot of the time
longliveCmartian: Do you fancy him or is everybody only just teasing? I promise that is not the real and sole reason for my daring to talk to you!
longliveCmartian: Although if it is i would probably lie and say it wasn't so you cannot really be very too sure.

see you leighter: i think it's because eric is the most handsome one too. so maybe it is both our imaginations.
see you leighter: hmmmm what have you heard? ((most of it is utter and absolutely not true and you and your whole lot are arseholes and pricks!))

longliveCmartian: Imagination is a pleasant place to be so we cannot be faulted! I have heard...different things from different sources. Must i give the details?
longliveCmartian: You probably should know beforehand that i am a bit terrible at keeping secrets.
longliveCmartian: But i really would like to know becos every time whenever i go off to my laa-laa lands away from this place, i return and find that i have missed so much and everybody seems to know that things that i don't and you know of a loop that has been broken but you are not in it?
longliveCmartian: No i don't really understand myself either so is OK if you are not totally sure.

see you leighter: oh but you are!
see you leighter: no no no you are part of the loop even when you're not here!
see you leighter: brando talks about you a lot

longliveCmartian: Does he? What sorts of things does he say?
longliveCmartian: Does he fancy me?

see you leighter: yes

longliveCmartian: I knew it!

see you leighter: he is not good at keeping secrets either!!

longliveCmartian: We are madly in love but nobody will admit it i dunno why precisely.
longliveCmartian: Is he not? Oh goodness he did not tell you about the time that we kissed quite passionately in a storeroom after having a drink too many at a pub did he?
longliveCmartian: He probably didn't becos that is part of an imaginative fancy that he knows nothing about.
longliveCmartian: Quite suddenly i hope you are fantastic at keeping secrets!
longliveCmartian: Of course all of this is just nonsense that i have no control over blabbing about!
longliveCmartian: None of this is true, i very nearly could swear it upon...important and dear things.
longliveCmartian: I am asexual.
longliveCmartian: And so you know my chakras are cleansed daily and in the normal way that people cleanse their chakras. Nothing fanciful about it.

see you leighter: omg how did you find out about that

longliveCmartian: But do not tell him that becos i enjoy the idea of him guessing.
longliveCmartian: You said it yourself! Brandon cannot keep a secret!

see you leighter: I DIDNT KNOW HE WOULD HAVE TOLD YOU
see you leighter: especially since he was all embarrassed about it!

longliveCmartian: After ronnie found his diary and revealed all of his innermost private thoughts, brandon and i had a heart to heart and all of it came pouring out like honey from a honeypot on a very sunny day when everything is syrupy y'know.

see you leighter: i do hope that it's encouraged him to cleanse his more often, he needs to relax
see you leighter: that is basically the perfect way to say it okay

longliveCmartian: Brandon does not have a penis.
longliveCmartian: I have stood next to him in the loo and so i know this to be true.

see you leighter: well wouldn't he have to sit down then?

longliveCmartian: Not necessarily, what he has is a tube like one of those pretend willies that some women use to urinate at festivals.

see you leighter: the guy thinks of everything!

longliveCmartian: Yes he does although the second immaculate conception has many of us quite perplexed. We did not know pretend willies came with the right juices for procreation.

see you leighter: maybe he scooped all yours up and kept it for when the time was right, had you thought of that??

longliveCmartian: That would be clever but i do it in the shower remember, it all goes down the drain quite literally.

see you leighter: oh yeah
see you leighter: hmm

longliveCmartian: There is only one explanation for it and that is jesus.

see you leighter: i can't believe the new little one is going to be here already he said like another month and a half

longliveCmartian: 'less you can come up with something better and more believable in my opinion.

see you leighter: LMFAO does brandon have a direct line to jesus?

longliveCmartian: Oh yes and can you believe it the little bastard did not even tell me!
longliveCmartian: I had to read about in the sun!
longliveCmartian: I dunno if his pretend willy can stretch that far but you can never know.

see you leighter: i cant believe he didn't tell you! you're like his most favorite person ever

longliveCmartian: You have me mistaken for ronnie is my thought becos everybody knows those two are inseparable, like left and right hands or two thumbs in a little war!
longliveCmartian: Or socks.
longliveCmartian: Although those have a tendency to get separated in the washing machine so maybe not quite like socks after all!

Quite apparently the rest of it will not fit into one post but i assure everybody that there was a lot of graphic descriptions about brandon's reproductive organs and the cleansing of chakras and ronnie being a total stud muffin that we two both fantasise compulsively about and lots and lots of other gossip as you would expect from a gossip girl and a rocketship that cannot keep a secret!

xoxo gossipship