he who used to rule the world!

OK PLEASE READ THIS becos i am going to tell everybody a fantastic little story before i link to you all some videos! Is a story about me and the wonderful irish geezer BONO who called me a list of lovely names earlier on this year on live national radio (wanker, dysfunctional character, cretin, genius melodist, a great soul, and there were lots and lots more in his head but radio microphones cannot catch that sort of thing cos of the very thick accent his thoughts speak with yknow!) You see i am friends with bono so the names were a bit unexpected truly. I always thought he was joking when he called me those to my face! All of which is totally true so you know, and it is precisely becos of that that i could not, i just could not believe he did such a low thing! Why would he do that? i kept asking myself over and over. You're supposed to tell lies to the radio and the telly! Lie to everybody you can becos you cannot ever know when they are informants to the nazi media! Which is not the point of the story however. The point is i was a bit offended at his truth telling and the obvious upon obvious breach of clear rock star rules! It was a betrayal to all the rock star oaths that rock stars are sworn to just before they get nominated for such things as brit awards and grammys! Even the smaller things like mtv and nme awards too! I will tell the truth only just to you lot who i am expecting to be reading this, becos i have to trust none of you are agents for corporate networks, and the truth is that i wanted him banished from every single one of the rock star clubs and a jury of his finer peers to all together spit on a bonfire of his greatest hits records in a beautiful big fiery saliva bukkake circle! Of course i never ever ever get what i want so i had to do the next best thing which is make terrible jokes about him in private and play u2 songs at the start of as many coldplay gigs around the world as i could, australia to singapore, spread my respect and love for the glorious bastard sort of in a reverse fiery bukkake sort of way.

God i am a louse of a storyteller! Is actually becos bukkake is really a difficult word to rhyme and is not the sort of word you can use twice in a lyric to rhyme with itself, yknow what i mean? I am more capable with rhyming colour names and words like you, do, for, pond, hill, that sort of thing. For example it was just only two days ago when i was stuck on this line for a song, "are we content or just complacent?" Then i thought, Good god are there any words at all that rhyme with complacent?! I am now thinking of having the thing i thought be the actual next line of the lyric, becos after two days that is when you must realise that you have to give up or songs would never get finished!

OK i have put you through enough testing of your patience. I will let you go on to the videos! This is razorlight and the first video has got a gossip girl lookalike in it becos everything that brandon flowers has, jbo wants to have too. The second one is where jbo looks terrifically handsome with his latest haircut and if you will only be courteous to me and watch one, this is the one you ought watch. (It does not seem like it but the first story i told and me promoting razorlight has something to do with each other. I really hope too that everybody read this in an accent becos that is the only way that i am a bit cute.)

( point your mice here and click to hear the jump sing! )